Jack, your story demonstrates the highest use of personal storytelling. Taking the time to look, frame by frame, thought by thought at our behavior, conduct and motivation is no less than watching game tape from your most worthy opponents. The best moves of our enemy, "autopilot" life, as you say, happen too quickly to respond well in the moment without preparation and study. When you map out the playbook of the opposition you stand a chance of responding well in a moment that counts. I'm going to share your story with our writing group, because it's a shining example of personal storytelling that lifts all boats. Thank you for this.
Rick, this really means a lot - thank you. I love the way you framed it as watching game tape. That’s an amazing frame to look at story telling through... slowing things down enough to actually see what autopilot usually rushes past. I’m especially grateful that you’d share it with your writing group. That kind of generosity is no small thing. Thanks for reading so closely and for such thoughtful encouragement.
I hope you’ve been well, pal. And that your BJJ is going well.
I lived and appreciated this essay of yours. Vulnerability and humility. When I read this:
“But to be clear, my charity track record is not good. Buying this man a meal was the biggest donation I’ve made in months. If you added up my giving for the last year, it would equate to less than ten cents a day. I’m not writing this for praise. If anything, I should be chastised for my selfishness.”
I thought, there are so many ways we are charitable - with our time, with our listening, with our attention, etc. money is just one form. That’s not to take away any of your take aways from this story. It’s simple to say that to me, and for me, you are wonderfully charitable. 🙏
James, it's always so great to hear from you. Truly, it's a light in my day. Thank you for taking time to read and to leave a kind and thoughtful message here.
It's an important reminder that there are more ways to give than just money. I've had this thought often as I pass someone begging on the street. As I never carry cash, I never have anything to give them. But instead of ignoring the person, as most do, I try to make eye contact, tell them "sorry, I don't have any change," and try to make them feel seen, like a real person. Though intangible and probably not enough, I hope these small efforts can make that person feel less disregarded on the fringes.
Jack, so awesome. These small efforts ARE enough, and they do make the person feel seen and connected to. When we talk next I would love to tell you a story of when I failed to take the opportunity when something similar happened to me, not that long ago. I wish I had read your piece first as I would have made a different choice.
Last, the last essay I wrote, "And the Oscar Goes To..." if you have time, speaks to supporting others - it's in the last 1/3 of the piece, so you might have to slog through the first part if you choose to read it.
I hope you're well and I love hearing from you too!
Let's set up a time soon to reconnect. I need to catch up on your essays (my Substack presence has been non-existent so I'm missing many good pieces here). I will hop there later today to read it - thank you for the nudge :)
Amazing read, even better considering the man asked for food instead of money. The aim of his necessity was in the right place, at least at that moment.
I definitely understand the desire of full intentionality. Although, it’s important to understand where your principles on matters like these stand. It’s easier to build intentionality through charity with the proper boundaries.
I’m curious to see how this journey goes for you. I look forward to reading future posts on this topic.
Thank you for this comment, Ibra. This is brilliant: "Although, it’s important to understand where your principles on matters like these stand. It’s easier to build intentionality through charity with the proper boundaries."
This is something I really need to chew on... what are my principles/values? And how do those define my boundaries? Thank you for giving me something to think about!
Brilliant. So much respect for you taking such a critical look at your intentions. And even if you're not celebrating yourself for this act, it was generous and kind and beautiful, even if it felt like it didn't come from *exactly* the right place.
Also, inspired by you bringing this level of self-scrutiny and intentionality to the mat, the office, and your relationships.
Thank you, Jeremy - really appreciate your words here pal. It's a daily effort and I slip every day, but certainly trying to make 2026 a year of intention. Hopefully I have the fortitude to make that aspiration an actuality.
Thank you so much for reading and for this lovely comment. Your last sentence really resonated with me. The invisible difference that intention brings is the difference between feeling ownership over our lives or not. Beautifully said.
Jack, your story demonstrates the highest use of personal storytelling. Taking the time to look, frame by frame, thought by thought at our behavior, conduct and motivation is no less than watching game tape from your most worthy opponents. The best moves of our enemy, "autopilot" life, as you say, happen too quickly to respond well in the moment without preparation and study. When you map out the playbook of the opposition you stand a chance of responding well in a moment that counts. I'm going to share your story with our writing group, because it's a shining example of personal storytelling that lifts all boats. Thank you for this.
Rick, this really means a lot - thank you. I love the way you framed it as watching game tape. That’s an amazing frame to look at story telling through... slowing things down enough to actually see what autopilot usually rushes past. I’m especially grateful that you’d share it with your writing group. That kind of generosity is no small thing. Thanks for reading so closely and for such thoughtful encouragement.
Thank you for sharing this humbling story.
Thank you so much for reading, Heather.
Interesting in that moment in that place he chose you. Interesting……
Coincidence seems to define our lives more than we know or realize or care to admit. Thanks for reading, Dad.
Jack,
I hope you’ve been well, pal. And that your BJJ is going well.
I lived and appreciated this essay of yours. Vulnerability and humility. When I read this:
“But to be clear, my charity track record is not good. Buying this man a meal was the biggest donation I’ve made in months. If you added up my giving for the last year, it would equate to less than ten cents a day. I’m not writing this for praise. If anything, I should be chastised for my selfishness.”
I thought, there are so many ways we are charitable - with our time, with our listening, with our attention, etc. money is just one form. That’s not to take away any of your take aways from this story. It’s simple to say that to me, and for me, you are wonderfully charitable. 🙏
James, it's always so great to hear from you. Truly, it's a light in my day. Thank you for taking time to read and to leave a kind and thoughtful message here.
It's an important reminder that there are more ways to give than just money. I've had this thought often as I pass someone begging on the street. As I never carry cash, I never have anything to give them. But instead of ignoring the person, as most do, I try to make eye contact, tell them "sorry, I don't have any change," and try to make them feel seen, like a real person. Though intangible and probably not enough, I hope these small efforts can make that person feel less disregarded on the fringes.
Jack, so awesome. These small efforts ARE enough, and they do make the person feel seen and connected to. When we talk next I would love to tell you a story of when I failed to take the opportunity when something similar happened to me, not that long ago. I wish I had read your piece first as I would have made a different choice.
Last, the last essay I wrote, "And the Oscar Goes To..." if you have time, speaks to supporting others - it's in the last 1/3 of the piece, so you might have to slog through the first part if you choose to read it.
I hope you're well and I love hearing from you too!
Let's set up a time soon to reconnect. I need to catch up on your essays (my Substack presence has been non-existent so I'm missing many good pieces here). I will hop there later today to read it - thank you for the nudge :)
Amazing read, even better considering the man asked for food instead of money. The aim of his necessity was in the right place, at least at that moment.
I definitely understand the desire of full intentionality. Although, it’s important to understand where your principles on matters like these stand. It’s easier to build intentionality through charity with the proper boundaries.
I’m curious to see how this journey goes for you. I look forward to reading future posts on this topic.
Thank you for this comment, Ibra. This is brilliant: "Although, it’s important to understand where your principles on matters like these stand. It’s easier to build intentionality through charity with the proper boundaries."
This is something I really need to chew on... what are my principles/values? And how do those define my boundaries? Thank you for giving me something to think about!
Brilliant. So much respect for you taking such a critical look at your intentions. And even if you're not celebrating yourself for this act, it was generous and kind and beautiful, even if it felt like it didn't come from *exactly* the right place.
Also, inspired by you bringing this level of self-scrutiny and intentionality to the mat, the office, and your relationships.
Thank you, Jeremy - really appreciate your words here pal. It's a daily effort and I slip every day, but certainly trying to make 2026 a year of intention. Hopefully I have the fortitude to make that aspiration an actuality.
Nice Jack, thanks for sharing
Thanks so much, Tom. Hope all is well with you!
Another excellent observation of our world. Thank you for the reminder.
Being seen is the greatest gift we can give to others.
Beautifully said, Tom. Thank you for reading and for this lovely comment to brighten my day.
Thank you so much for reading and for this lovely comment. Your last sentence really resonated with me. The invisible difference that intention brings is the difference between feeling ownership over our lives or not. Beautifully said.