Thanks buddy. Your edits really helped me expand my thinking and challenge my writing on this one. Had a lot of fun putting it together and learned a bit about life and myself. Love ya
If only we could all speak so openly and thoughtfully about death. You’ve written about it in such a way that makes it an inviting conversation.
As I get older and encounter it more through loss, I find the physical aspect less frightening. It’s almost like acceptance happens as a phase that comes with age similar to how teens pull away from their parents. I imagine when you’re older, whether it’s by encountering death around you or through aging, you’ll feel less fear.
My mom was raised Buddhist but converted to Christianity when I was little. I was raised Baptist then Pentecostal (speaking in tongues, fainting and such) in the buckle of the Bible Belt, Oklahoma. Through my education and travels I became agnostic bordering on atheist. Now, I am not religious in anyway, but I believe deeply: Our bodies are a vessel for our consciousness. Our consciousness is part of a collective whole. Our purpose is to experience being human fully. The first two aren’t necessary for me to believe, but the third can bring peace.
I feel the greatest level of peace I’ve ever felt. When I was Baptist, I feared hell. When I was Pentecostal (unfortunately never experienced speaking in tongues), I feared the war of demons over my spirit. When I was agnostic I feared being worthless. I don’t know what this new thing is, but I see it as nothing matters so anything is possible. Within possibility lies the opportunity to experience being human fully.
The beauty in this definition is “being fully human” can meant anything you want. For me it means following my curiosity, being fully present as much as one can be, and being the fullest expression of myself as a human being.
Thank you for writing and sharing such a personal essay on something we could all benefit from talking more openly about but don’t.
Wow... thank you so much for sharing Miche. Hearing your perspective after having experienced both Buddhist (which from my outside view seem to have one of the best relationships with death/impermanence) and Christian viewpoints is really interesting.
From my experience it seems that how much you fear death as you age is a result of how you live your life. If you're a very self aware, optimistic person who has made decisions wisely and tried to create a life in accordance with your authentic self, your fear of death may simmer as you age. But for those who go through life on autopilot, almost unaware of their own mortality, the realization of their impending death sends them into fear, shock, and regret. You, of course, are one of the former.
I love this: "... nothing matters so anything is possible. Within possibility lies the opportunity to experience being human fully." Being "fully human" is such a great term for anyone, regardless of religion, to find the things that make them feel most alive or give purpose to their lives. I think death gets easier when you're happy with how you've lived.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts :)
You’re welcome. I don’t know how wise my decisions have been lol.
I’ve always had a sense of my own mortality. I set up my first will at 25. I used to be certain I wouldn’t make it past my mid-40s. I used to have 4 insurance policies. Maybe that’s why I lived with FOMO.
All we have is this breath. If with each one you take the next right step, you’ll live a full life.
This is an honest and thoughtful inventory of personal perspective on a taboo subject Jack. I was struck by your comment about taking the last breath. "But I want to take my final breath bravely. . ." and had the thought that it's all the breaths between now and "the end" that must be taken bravely. In fact, not so much taken, as given. The literal out-breath of our words can support expression that is honest and brave or false and timid. If there is anything that has helped me feel more at peace with my finality its been taking the opportunity to communicate what matters most. I resonate with the fact that you've done that here with your article.
Thanks so much Rick. I love what you said: it’s all the breaths between now and then that must be taken bravely. That is how I want to live my life. Our breath, as you so eloquently point out, has with it the power to communicate braveness and honesty.
I’ll take your lesson with me and be sure to openly communicate what matters most. Writing is a gift in that it gives me the opportunity to learn from those wiser and with more experience than I.
I'm very interested in exploring the relationship between writing and speaking. Because speaking is delivered with our actual breath, I think the practice of speaking can help to access truer writing, and then writing in turn elevates our speaking.
It is a very interesting relationship. Writing from conversation is an extremely powerful tool. BUT the writing must happen. If we only speak without writing, we often fail to see gaps in our thinking. Speech is great for idea generation and compression but writing is necessary for the testing, crystallization, and solidification of our ideas. To produce our best speech we need writing and to produce our best writing we need speech. There's an interdependency at play.
I think you are absolutely right. Especially when we have to say those words to others we care about. Only then is our real emotional connection revealed.
Do we matter, in this endless universe ? We all want to be special, to matter (Jesus says you’re special - nice, eh) but do we? Love the post death celebration party. To a Life well Lived. Surrounded by those you loved. Picture that.
As with everything in life, we have the choice to assign meaning or let everything be meaningless. The latter resembles nihilism which doesn’t seem like a very pleasant or productive mindset to hold for the short time we have here.
And forsure, I like the idea of a celebration more than a funeral.
Superb writing Jack!!! This is an exceptional piece with such a valuable life message. I think it takes true honesty, personal depth and transparency to write this the way you have. The topic is a difficult one to discuss but you do so in a heartfelt manner, delivering it with a breathe of fresh air! You are definitely opening the minds of your readers and providing them comfort and courage to sculpt their own ideas around dying and life after death. In sharing your personal views, you invite and allow for "acceptance" of the notions others will have on this sensitive topic. So, thank you for sharing as you have! (I do love the notion you suggest of honouring a life lived styled after a celebration our deceased loved one would actually want to attend!)
Thanks for reading Mom :) Happy to hear you found this one useful and interesting! Good to know you're on board with a more informal celebration... will save me a ton on funeral expenses 😂. Kidding, of course. I would much prefer my life's celebration to happen around a camp fire, lake waves lapping on the shore, summer moon shining bright in the sky.
Excellent piece. Thanks for sharing. That first date story had me laughing out loud. I don’t celebrate my birthdays, but I do urge those close to me to celebrate my death. Anyone caught crying is to be shown the door. And my coffin is to be used as a makeshift bar.
I consider myself to be a Christian, although my behaviour on some days is far from Christian like.
The beauty of my faith is I get another bite of the cherry with every new day, sometimes multiple times within that same day. Well done on such a well crafted essay.👏✍️
Thanks so much for reading Kevin! Makes me really happy to hear you enjoyed and that some of the humour landed... I certainly had fun writing it.
I like your style, that sounds like my kind of funeral. Although everyone, of course, is entitled to their own way of celebrating life. So no judgement on those who go the more traditional route.
Love how you described religion here. I believe, when implemented as it was intended to be, that is exactly what religion should look like: a constant striving towards an ideal even though we are only human and certain to come short many days.
Thanks again for reading and commenting. It was great to hear your thoughts on this!
I love how this piece turned out Jack, and how you stepped outside your comfort zone to write it in the first person.
Death is such a taboo, hard to talk about subject, but the greatest of all fears only grows larger in the shadows... good on ya for writing this one
Thanks buddy. Your edits really helped me expand my thinking and challenge my writing on this one. Had a lot of fun putting it together and learned a bit about life and myself. Love ya
If only we could all speak so openly and thoughtfully about death. You’ve written about it in such a way that makes it an inviting conversation.
As I get older and encounter it more through loss, I find the physical aspect less frightening. It’s almost like acceptance happens as a phase that comes with age similar to how teens pull away from their parents. I imagine when you’re older, whether it’s by encountering death around you or through aging, you’ll feel less fear.
My mom was raised Buddhist but converted to Christianity when I was little. I was raised Baptist then Pentecostal (speaking in tongues, fainting and such) in the buckle of the Bible Belt, Oklahoma. Through my education and travels I became agnostic bordering on atheist. Now, I am not religious in anyway, but I believe deeply: Our bodies are a vessel for our consciousness. Our consciousness is part of a collective whole. Our purpose is to experience being human fully. The first two aren’t necessary for me to believe, but the third can bring peace.
I feel the greatest level of peace I’ve ever felt. When I was Baptist, I feared hell. When I was Pentecostal (unfortunately never experienced speaking in tongues), I feared the war of demons over my spirit. When I was agnostic I feared being worthless. I don’t know what this new thing is, but I see it as nothing matters so anything is possible. Within possibility lies the opportunity to experience being human fully.
The beauty in this definition is “being fully human” can meant anything you want. For me it means following my curiosity, being fully present as much as one can be, and being the fullest expression of myself as a human being.
Thank you for writing and sharing such a personal essay on something we could all benefit from talking more openly about but don’t.
Wow... thank you so much for sharing Miche. Hearing your perspective after having experienced both Buddhist (which from my outside view seem to have one of the best relationships with death/impermanence) and Christian viewpoints is really interesting.
From my experience it seems that how much you fear death as you age is a result of how you live your life. If you're a very self aware, optimistic person who has made decisions wisely and tried to create a life in accordance with your authentic self, your fear of death may simmer as you age. But for those who go through life on autopilot, almost unaware of their own mortality, the realization of their impending death sends them into fear, shock, and regret. You, of course, are one of the former.
I love this: "... nothing matters so anything is possible. Within possibility lies the opportunity to experience being human fully." Being "fully human" is such a great term for anyone, regardless of religion, to find the things that make them feel most alive or give purpose to their lives. I think death gets easier when you're happy with how you've lived.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts :)
You’re welcome. I don’t know how wise my decisions have been lol.
I’ve always had a sense of my own mortality. I set up my first will at 25. I used to be certain I wouldn’t make it past my mid-40s. I used to have 4 insurance policies. Maybe that’s why I lived with FOMO.
All we have is this breath. If with each one you take the next right step, you’ll live a full life.
Very well said, that's something I can live in accordance with :)
I can feel the resulting curiosity, joy, and wonder in you that results from this perspective Miche.
This is an honest and thoughtful inventory of personal perspective on a taboo subject Jack. I was struck by your comment about taking the last breath. "But I want to take my final breath bravely. . ." and had the thought that it's all the breaths between now and "the end" that must be taken bravely. In fact, not so much taken, as given. The literal out-breath of our words can support expression that is honest and brave or false and timid. If there is anything that has helped me feel more at peace with my finality its been taking the opportunity to communicate what matters most. I resonate with the fact that you've done that here with your article.
Thanks so much Rick. I love what you said: it’s all the breaths between now and then that must be taken bravely. That is how I want to live my life. Our breath, as you so eloquently point out, has with it the power to communicate braveness and honesty.
I’ll take your lesson with me and be sure to openly communicate what matters most. Writing is a gift in that it gives me the opportunity to learn from those wiser and with more experience than I.
I'm very interested in exploring the relationship between writing and speaking. Because speaking is delivered with our actual breath, I think the practice of speaking can help to access truer writing, and then writing in turn elevates our speaking.
It is a very interesting relationship. Writing from conversation is an extremely powerful tool. BUT the writing must happen. If we only speak without writing, we often fail to see gaps in our thinking. Speech is great for idea generation and compression but writing is necessary for the testing, crystallization, and solidification of our ideas. To produce our best speech we need writing and to produce our best writing we need speech. There's an interdependency at play.
Hmm, yes, I totally agree that writing helps us see gaps in our thinking. Perhaps speaking helps us see gaps in our emotional connection to our words.
I think you are absolutely right. Especially when we have to say those words to others we care about. Only then is our real emotional connection revealed.
Do we matter, in this endless universe ? We all want to be special, to matter (Jesus says you’re special - nice, eh) but do we? Love the post death celebration party. To a Life well Lived. Surrounded by those you loved. Picture that.
Thanks for reading Dad.
As with everything in life, we have the choice to assign meaning or let everything be meaningless. The latter resembles nihilism which doesn’t seem like a very pleasant or productive mindset to hold for the short time we have here.
And forsure, I like the idea of a celebration more than a funeral.
Superb writing Jack!!! This is an exceptional piece with such a valuable life message. I think it takes true honesty, personal depth and transparency to write this the way you have. The topic is a difficult one to discuss but you do so in a heartfelt manner, delivering it with a breathe of fresh air! You are definitely opening the minds of your readers and providing them comfort and courage to sculpt their own ideas around dying and life after death. In sharing your personal views, you invite and allow for "acceptance" of the notions others will have on this sensitive topic. So, thank you for sharing as you have! (I do love the notion you suggest of honouring a life lived styled after a celebration our deceased loved one would actually want to attend!)
Thanks for reading Mom :) Happy to hear you found this one useful and interesting! Good to know you're on board with a more informal celebration... will save me a ton on funeral expenses 😂. Kidding, of course. I would much prefer my life's celebration to happen around a camp fire, lake waves lapping on the shore, summer moon shining bright in the sky.
Excellent piece. Thanks for sharing. That first date story had me laughing out loud. I don’t celebrate my birthdays, but I do urge those close to me to celebrate my death. Anyone caught crying is to be shown the door. And my coffin is to be used as a makeshift bar.
I consider myself to be a Christian, although my behaviour on some days is far from Christian like.
The beauty of my faith is I get another bite of the cherry with every new day, sometimes multiple times within that same day. Well done on such a well crafted essay.👏✍️
Thanks so much for reading Kevin! Makes me really happy to hear you enjoyed and that some of the humour landed... I certainly had fun writing it.
I like your style, that sounds like my kind of funeral. Although everyone, of course, is entitled to their own way of celebrating life. So no judgement on those who go the more traditional route.
Love how you described religion here. I believe, when implemented as it was intended to be, that is exactly what religion should look like: a constant striving towards an ideal even though we are only human and certain to come short many days.
Thanks again for reading and commenting. It was great to hear your thoughts on this!